Laconique Politique
Nollson, John
John Nollson Laconique Politique All across the world, politicians have sought to deal with the gradually shrinking attention span of their constituents. Consultants have advised their...
...Now he wears a pin-striped suit...
...We just don't think so...
...We tack to the right...
...We can report that the President's men have come into possession of a memorandum prepared by Japan's leading political consulting firm...
...Smashed greedy airline cartel...
...Twenty-four warheads come down...
...President, you have told the American people of your hopes...
...President...
...Peace came just in time...
...Q. Frankly, Mr...
...No more than seventeen syllables, one haiku, our traditional verse form...
...What is your greatest fear...
...What are you really up to...
...Red as unpicked tomatoes, Lopez-Portillo...
...We have not heard the last from Omar Torrijos...
...President, people in the southwest are deeply disturbed over the increasing influx of illegal immigrants...
...The President: 1980 comes...
...Their advice was followed and the Prime Minister was dumped...
...Surly electorate waves 'Sayonara...
...Sweet treat...
...What will you say to them...
...President, could you give us your assessment of the results of the November election and what it presages for the next year of your administration...
...Do you think the Panama Canal treaties will come back to haunt you...
...Q. Mr...
...We head for the hills...
...The President: Scuffed boots on the shelf...
...Q. Mr...
...Q. Thank you, Mr...
...Q. Mr...
...The President: Deregulation...
...Consultants have advised their clients to limit all responses to questions-"no more than one minute...
...President, if I could follow up on the previous question, do you plan on playing the China card as a way of persuading the Soviets to make concessions...
...Q. Mr...
...Hamilton Jordan...
...Cocaine, Runnin' 'round our brain...
...President...
...The American people may demand an explanation...
...Semites spoke English, thank God...
...Do you think the Laconique Politique summit accounts for the startling turnaround in your political fortunes...
...President, in all candor, the tone of this press conference is a little peculiar...
...We dig cheap travel...
...What are your plans to restore the damaged credibility of the White House staff...
...The President: Buddhism's passe, And yoga's not the way to One up Jerry Brown...
...The President: Straw hats with wide bands...
...Q. Mr...
...Q. Mr...
...The President: Thank you...
...President, we had expected that you would be a bit more longwinded...
...What solution do you have for this problem...
...The complete transcript now follows:) Q. Mr...
...five syllables, then seven syllables, then five more, and that's all," commanded Minimoto, the challenger's adviser...
...Proceeding from the wellknown Japanese gift for miniaturization, the consultants advised the Prime Minister's leading opponent to practice the art of "laconique politique...
...Q. Is there really any way you can sum up your entire approach to politics in seventeen syllables...
...The President: Mex treks sure scare Tex...
...President, what do you regard as your administration's most significant achievement in the area of domestic policy...
...President, do you believe that the Senate will ratify a SALT II agreement...
...The President: One rocket goes up...
...The President: Arab andJew met...
...Q. Mr...
...And the thirty-second television spot will no doubt be shrunk to fifteen as soon as the reasons for low voter turnout are analyzed...
...Q. Mr...
...The President: Tax tax tax tax tax Spend spend spend spend spend spend spend Elect elect elQ. Remarkable...
...President, Washington has been buzzing with rumors that you plan a major shakeup of the White House staff...
...Polls float on fickle feelings...
...Obviously, he has passed the word to the President, for what else can account for the otherwise inexplicable tone of last week's nationally televised extravaganza...
...The President: Skyward taxes fly...
...President, it is said that the successful summit at Camp David has revived your political prospects...
...But what really explains the brevity of the President's most recent press conference...
...The President: Words from Mao: "Dig deep, Store rice, tell Brezhnev, 'Your mom Wears red army boots.' " Q. Another question on foreign policy, Mr...
...The President: We don't smoke but we Love our coke...
Vol. 12 • January 1979 • No. 1
