Soul

...The jazz group was outstanding...

...I refused to sign unless the form was translated...

...I've been through it...

...As I tipped the waiter, I remembered that I had forgotten Spiro's brandy snifter...

...It used to perk up their spirits...

...This reference to "Jewish Edward Alexander is Professor of English and Chairman of the Jewish Studies Program at the University of Washington, in Seattle...

...One of my old friends, Chuck Colson, told me it smacks of selfpity...

...That really got Nixon furious, especially after the Shah said that nobody played my style of funky piano in Teheran...

...Even the black musicians admire the way I play the blues...

...When I got back on the phone, the Russian began waving his arms and shouting that "I can't waste any more time on this, you've had your last chance...

...The waiter brought another glass of ginger ale and, by now, Spiro was into the first few bars of I Left My Heart in San Francisco...

...One took the magazine away and later returned with a form in Russian which he ordered me to sign...

...In the old days," he said, "I never related to the contemporary tunes...

...Good-bye, let's call it a day, but before you go away, there's one thing I want to say...

...He shifted, effortlessly as usual, from Deep Purple to I Can't Get Started with You...

...In fact, Dorley's had been written up as the leader in bringing back the quiet jazz sound, the sound we had all heard in the background of the old movies on the TV late show...

...That really drove Nixon up the wall, because he wasn't asked...

...He told me that eventually I would have to surrender all Jewish materials, but that I should demand an itemized receipt...

...When in Rome, do as the Romans do...

...I really used to break them up when I'd do I've Got a Right to Sing the Blues," Spiro remarked, "but we don't play that tune any more...

...And the crowd joined in: "I wish you shelter from the storm, a cozy fire to keep you warm, but most of all, when snowflakes fall, I wish you love...

...We were joined at me piano by a lanky " "I Wish You Love," written by Charles Trenet...

...they responded with the first verse: "I wish you bluebirds in the spring, to give your heart a song to sing, and then a kiss, but more than this, I wish you love...

...I returned to the piano and, not to be outdone by an Oklahoman, I dropped in a twenty of my own...

...As I sat next to him on the piano bench, I was impressed once again with his effortless facility at the keyboard...

...You really feel the music...

...Oh," Spiro responded, "my group and I got tired of one-nighters, so we decided to play here on a regular basis...

...I complimented Spiro on his playing and told him I'd been away from my table too long and had to return to my guests...

...My wife Leah was not allowed to accompany me...

...t"Come Rain or Come Shine," music by Harold Arlen, lyrics by Johnny Mercer...

...Remarkable," I said to my guests when I rejoined them, "the man's a real individual...

...I told him that I had never been invited to the symposium but had certainly read about it in American newspapers...

...He was backed up by a bass, drums, and a very mellow electric guitar...

...In the meantime the customs official had taken from our bags all books treating Jewish subjects and all items showing Hebrew lettering or the symbols of the menorah and star of David...

...When I remarked that suppression of cultural exchange and symposia constitutes gross violation of the Helsinki accords, he replied: "Never mind Helsinki...

...Instead, a man in civilian clothing arrived and ordered me to accompany him for "discussion of some problems...

...The applause had not yet died down, but Spiro had already shifted from I Wish You Love to Candy Man...

...Then Spiro sang: "Good-bye, no use leading with our chins, this is where our story ends, never lovers, ever friends...

...After I hung up, he desisted in his earlier attempts to have me sign a "confession" and took me back to the waiting room, where my wife still was...

...The officer shrieked with indignation, but eventually left with the magazine and the unsigned form...

...We were told we would be taken to the airport for breakfast at 10:00: At ten, an Intourist woman of exemplary rudeness arrived with a soldier to escort us to the airport...

...During this process, which lasted from 1:30 to 3:00 a.m., everything of Jewish content was confiscated and itemized...

...The more I listened, the more I realized that it was the piano player who made the difference...

...it was far more sophisticated than his old East Room style...

...MCA, Inc., publishers...

...Look," began the interrogator, "we know who you are and why you've come here...

...Right," Spiro nodded...

...I had to agree...

...It was then we discovered that we were in fact locked onto the second floor and could leave neither it nor the building...

...I guess it was Nixon's influence...

...Copyright 1946...

...The customs official who searched our bags became irate on seeing an issue of Hadassah magazine and summoned two otl~er officials, apparently experts on "the Jewish question...

...Then and there, I realized that Spiro had paid his dues...

...Spiro, old buddy," he drawled, "we met a few years back at the annual dinner of the American Petroleum Institute...

...The guitarist took a few bars as Spiro took two sips from a glass of ginger ale supplied by a waiter...

...We slept until 5:30 a.m...

...Sometimes Bob, and all those guys named John, the lawyers, the accounThe Alternative: An American Spectator May 1977 21 tants, Manolo--everybody--would join in on the last line, 'I'm with you, baby, I'm with you rain or shine.'~" Now, I've outgrown that kind of stuff...

...When, however, he began talking about a body search of my wife " t o find addresses," I insisted on calling the American Embassy...

...last December 16 for a long-planned holiday...

...What's more, he looked very familiar...

...You know," he continued, "I guess I first realized I could make a go of this back in '72...

...fellow who spoke with a pronounced Oklahoma accent...

...Dorley's did not disappoint us...

...Their eyes always light up when I play the old tunes," said Spiro...

...He had himself apparently violated this "law," for during the long night he made a great display of the Hebrew phrases he had learned...

...The crowd continued to sing on its own, and Spiro said to me, "That's a terrific lyric...

...I asked for the bill...

...I had always been amazed by the ability of pianists in night spots to converse and play at the same time, even though I had seen it dozens of times on the late show...

...He slammed the suitcases shut, and said the Embassy would be indifferent, but did take me back to the interrogation room to phone...

...Spiro's playing had a touch of genuine elegance...

...Chappell Publishing House, publishers...

...He refused to identify himself at any point...

...After 45 minutes of this, we returned to the waiting room, where my wife was, for a second search of the luggage...

...Nixon invited me to sit down and play something for the Shah during one of those White House dinners...

...What about Danny Boy...

...Once you've got them down, you can play practically anything...

...Their favorite tune of his was Come Rain or Come Shine...

...He replied (and repeated often during the night) that it was his job "to protect Soviet citizens from being endangered by anti-Soviet propaganda...

...I think all my problems with him started that night...

...We sat there until midnight, but no car ever came...

...My wife and I were wonderin' if you would play something to remind us of the old days," continued the Oklahoman...

...I was impressed, because not even Georges Feyer or Peter Duchin could negotiate the transition between those two tunes with such grace...

...After two hours of searching, we were told, at 11:30, to repack and proceed to the Intourist area of the airport, where a car would come to take us to our hotel in Moscow...

...She would answer no questions at all, claiming not to understand English...

...He was sympathetic, but told me that Soviet officials were totally arbitrary, made their own rules from day to day, and considered the Helsinki' accords a joke...

...His music had a clean sound, assertive but not overstated...

...At 1 a.m...

...We stayed for Spiro's next set and we would have stayed even later, but it was almost 2 a.m...

...And with that, he went into Sometimes I Feel Like a Motherless Child...

...Spiro looked up and, without missing a note, invited me to sit down next to him...

...and Zionist craps" was repeated a dozen times during the ensuing hours...

...By the time we reached the door, Spiro and the group were well into To the Good Life...

...When I told him about the threatened body search of my wife, the Russian screamed, "you're a liar...

...Copyright 1955...

...It was that great favorite, Nobody Knows You When You're Down and Out...

...He and Pat would get down in the dumps and they would ask me to play some Harold Arlen...

...Suddenly I realized that it was Spiro Agnew...

...22 The Alternative: An American Spectator May 1977...

...Without missing a note, he managed to shake my hand and remind me that his group had cut an album for Capitol Records...

...All I heard him say in English was that " i t ' s my job to protect Soviet citizens from anti-Soviet propaganda...

...You've heard this expression...

...Having eaten nothing since arriving in Moscow, we tried, at about 7:30, to get breakfast, for we were still under the illusion that we were in some sort of hotel...

...Three border police arrived to help him with yet another search of our belongings...

...Spiro," I said, "what have you been up to...

...When I asked for a translation, he said the form merely acknowledged that we were s u r r e n d e r i n g a piece of " a n t i - S o v i e t propaganda...

...Spiro," I said, "you play with great expressiveness...

...I usually pay cash, but this time I tossed my American Express card to the waiter because I wanted the receipt as a momento of that extraordinary evening...

...His interpretations of some.of the old standards, though clearly original, still struck one as definitive...

...We were, without benefit of any explanation, put into a room with two beds and an old wardrobe...

...It was Spiro Agnew, without any doubt...

...Napper then asked to speak to the Russian, who--very unwillingly--took the phone and soon began to shout at Napper in Russian...

...I asked him explicitly whether study of the Hebrew language was against Soviet law, and he replied: "Of course it is...

...The crowd applauded...

...It's all a matter of knowing the basic chord structures," said Spiro...

...As his hands moved gracefully over the keys, Spiro reminisced...

...Well," said Spiro, "the fact is that I've suffered...

...Do you know that the Shah invited me to play at his great blowout in Persepolis...

...I reached the Consular Duty Officer, Larry Napper...

...And, without missing a note, he left I Can't Get Started with You and moved right into I IVish You Love...

...My wife and I arrived in Moscow at 9:30 p.m...

...I asked him why the mere suspicion that somebody might attend a cultural symposium should so agitate him...

...I was taken to a room at the opposite end of the airport for interrogation...

...My mind must have been wandering, because, when I next heard the music, Spiro was already in the middle of Bridge Over Troubled Water...

...You've come to attend this damned symposium on Jewish Culture, and that is why you've brought these Jewish and Zionist craps [sic] with you...

...As soon as he had finished that great standard, he sang again, this time in a voice that convinced all of us that Louis Armstrong himself was in the room...

...we were taken from the airport about 200 yards across the road to a dilapidated, dirty building referred to as a "transit hotel...

...You bet," winked Spiro, and he eased into Danny Boy, giving it country and western overtones that brought a smile to the face of the Oklahoman...

...Sitting on his piano was a large brandy snifter stuffed with five and ten dollar bills, obviously gratuities deposited by big spenders with special requests...

...Then Spiro took the solo: "My aching heart and I agree, that you and I could never be, so with my best, my very best, I set you free...

...O Q 4 g W O O O ~ a O O ~ g U Q I 6 6 4 1 1 ~ O Q Q O ~ I O Q O . . . . 4 6 1 o l ~ Q I 9 9 4 1 s 6 1 0 ~ O O ~ m ~ O O I O . . . . . . . . . O O ~ o 4 0 Q Q ~ g W O O m ~ 4 1 0 0 0 ~ m O ~ I O . . . . ~4 . . . . . t ~ 8 . . . . ~ ~ . . . . ~* Edward Alexander Twenty-Four Hours with the KGB A holiday in the Soviet Union becomes an ordeal of harassment for two Jewish visitors...

...This included my old prayer book, a menorah, a scarf with Hebrew letters on it, a few paperback anthologies of short stories, and some Hebrew language texts...

...E~,eryone there recognized that I played much better than Nixon...

...At 3:30 a.m...

...He punctuated the lyric with a run of sevenths that was marvelously appropriate...

...And with that, he motioned to the crowd to join in...

...He slipped a twenty in Spiro's brandy snifter...

...Take care, pal," said Spiro...

...I made a mental note to pick up a copy because I wanted to reproduce the warm atmosphere of Dorley's in my own living room...

...I picked up my drink and walked over to the piano...