The Continuing Crisis
THE C O N T I N U I N G CRISIS 88 All is quiet, all is quiet, all is quiet. From December 1 until this report went to press in mid-January, nary an instrument in the national cacophony stirred,...
...Emyr de Hory, took his own life on the famous isle of Ibiza...
...The paying audience has generally abounded with nincompoops...
...The Cat's Meow, a Baltimore massage parlor zoned into extinction, has reopened as a sperm bank...
...And in New York the once-hallowed First Amendment received another plucking when WABC's philosophical weatherman, Mr...
...His only really perilous policies were in foreign affairs, and the pundits applauded and rubbed their tummies...
...de Hory to pass off his creations as the works of acknowledged masters, if only to assure a living wage for himself and his American bodyguard, Mr...
...RET ~ . . . . . . ~ Q i ~ . . . . 6 4 4 . . . . . . 0 . . . . O O 0 0 0 ~ I 0 0 . . . . 4 0 t ~ . . . . . 4 0 0 g ~ 0 0 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 6 ~ S 4 0 ~ 0 ~ 4 ~ 1 . . . . . . . . . . . . . O O O 0 ~ 6 ~ 0 4 . . . . . 4 ~ 4 . . . . . . . . O q q ~ 4 ~ 2 The A l t e r n a t i v e : An American S p e c t a t o r February 1977...
...Finally aesthetes can expect from the budding Schuberts of Zaire still more songs about death, water, and birds...
...On a happier note, the cultural marvels of Mr...
...Furthermore a national poll of high school students revealed that hard-core Nixon supporters are far more prevalent amongst youth than had hitherto been suspected...
...Rockefeller publicly regretted that "I never had a chance to tell him that I loved him as a person...
...9 The first hard evidence supporting reformers' annual prophecies of the impending decline in Mayor Richard J . Daley's political power came on the afternoon of December 20 when the seventy-four-year-old political boss was pronounced officially dead, despite the wishes of the Cook County Democratic Central Committee and the Chicago City Council...
...Mark Forgy...
...And signs of a resurgence in support for ex-President Richard M. Nixon surfaced when Good Housekeeping magazine declared Pat Nixon the world's most admired woman...
...Another manifestation of Mr...
...Have recent Presidents overreacted to their critics...
...No response has yet been received by the protestors, causing renewed concern that the whole of Vietnam may have slipped back into the grasp of the heinous CIA...
...Amin to liberate them and become King of Hawaii...
...Julia, the absurd thirtyyear-old elephant residing in New York's Central Park Zoo, was "destroyed" after an Austrian veterinarian diagnosed her behavior as symptomatic of a "mental disorder" rather than an "uncommonly high intelligence," as earlier vets had insisted...
...9 So who provides the wind for this bassoon...
...His days are spent fending off the ceaseless harassment of the American Civil Liberties Union, a cruel conspiracy of emotionally disturbed lawyers twice responsible for Mr...
...And the Planned Parenthood Association of Chicago received a shock when Cook County Jail officials judged as "too controversial" a contraception lecture intended for an audience of lady inmates, seventy-five percent of whom are prostitutes...
...Amin has ruled out military liberation of the islands, sensing as be does that Presidentelect Carter shares more of Mr...
...The orchestra for the most part was composed of lunatics and scoundrels...
...Screams of perdition are heard no more from the Wonderboy, now that he is the perditioner-elect...
...Ford's domestic policy, and the pundits fell on him for it...
...Amin's world views than did the more backward Mr...
...Zaire has established an official song censor to scotch the seepage o~ Western decadence into that country's rich culture...
...In Charleston, West Virginia, Mr...
...Amin's booming republic will be displayed in the fifteen-story "Uganda House," a spectacular structure of glass and marble soon to be raised in New York City on the present site of Johnny's Kwick Check Parking Lot...
...it was conservatism at its most pedestrian and instinctive...
...Ford...
...His pursuit of the Presidency was a comic testimony to the hallucinogenic effect power has on all who live in Washington...
...Harry G. Hoffman, the recently-retired editor of the Charleston Gazette, died a hero's death, a death all ritualistically liberal journalists dream of but only Harry managed to pull off...
...and he is quietly applying himself to the task of populating post-Fordian Washington or to learning those recondite matters once entombed in high school civics texts...
...Amin's popularity with the world's oppressed came to light when Uganda Radio broadcast the news that 175 Hawaiians have asked Mr...
...The sixty-five-year-old grumbler expired at his typewriter as he mercilessly pecked out a diatribe against none other than Governor-elect John D. Rockefeller, 4th...
...And the composition itself has been improbable throughout...
...Field Marshal tdi Amin Dada, always somewhat of a neoplatonist, has made it a capital offense even to joke about the raid, and already two iconoclastic bar girls, who quipped that their boy friends were as aggressive as Israeli jets, have been put to the spear...
...Fully thirteen percent of the students polled believed that " t h e President is not required to obey the l a w . ' ' _9 As this dispatch goes to press, culture lovers remain ignorant of the huge loss suffered by the entire art world on December 11 when a dispirited genius, Mr...
...Yet J e r r y struggled manfully...
...Tex Antoine, was suspended for following up the news report of the rape of an eight-year-old girl with an observation he attributed to Confucius: " I f rape is inevitable, relax and enjoy it' ' - - b u t one more example of America's intolerance toward foreign cultures, no doubt...
...Surely not Gary Mark Gilmore...
...For two years he has served as soloist in Richard M. Nixon's Concerto for Bassoon, Op...
...Gilmore's flummoxed essays into suicide...
...The only breath of innovation came in Mr...
...J e r r y ' s was sober and businesslike, except, again, for Betty...
...Were other administrations full of gorgeous pretense...
...Henceforth love songs will be malum prohibitum...
...The lecture is generally given to high school girls...
...Gloria Laing was thrust into the slammer for violating a court order and shouti*ng "Happy Easter, Connie" to her daughter...
...The benevolent Field Marshal has promised to study the petition seriously and to take it up with U.S...
...Daniel Ellsberg, Miss Joan Baez, and the Brothers Berrigan have grown skeptical about the state of civil liberties in unified Vietnam, and on December 20 they joined dozens of other hard-headed doves to fire off an eloquent letter of protest against alleged political intolerance in that great democracy...
...What a glorious day it was for old Harry[ And the family mortician had hardly finished applying his arts when Mr...
...Then Jerry reacted not at all, not even to the incomparable Betty...
...In Los Angeles Mrs...
...In the end Jerry proved that the country can continue to hum even with a sensible mediocrity in the White House...
...9 True, he displayed not one moment of brilliance...
...Kurt Waldheim was re-elected UN Secretary General over the noisy candidacy of Mexican President Luis Echeverrfa Alvarez, one of the world's most repulsive politicians...
...Yet art buyers tried to avoid his works, while paying vast sums for the Chagalls and Matisses on which his works were based...
...Of course most of his political moves were cloddish and ineffectual...
...de Hory was the world's foremost art forger, a master so gifted that no appraiser could distinguish a de Hory from the original...
...A ~vlilan, Italy judge gave Mr...
...Such a specious system of values often forced Mr...
...According to the broadcast, Mr...
...9 Back in America, antiwar superstars Mr...
...From December 1 until this report went to press in mid-January, nary an instrument in the national cacophony stirred, save for a lonely bassoon sounding forlorn snatches of somber half-notes...
...colonial authorities soon...
...9 Washington has been empty, with our eminent Congressmen either off to foreign parts on official transcultural debauches, or discreetly ensconced at remote clinics throughout the Republic there to dry out...
...Luigi Serge Gorcy, an electrical firm personnel director, a one-month suspended jail sentence for asking a prospective woman employee questions the judge deemed "reactionary...
...9 On December 13, a bald eagle was senselessly gunned down by unidentified assailants as he relaxed amongst the flora of Suffolk County, New York...
...No, these melancholy lilts issue from President Gerald R. Ford, our lame Anas platyrhynchos...
...posth., an artistic event slapped with the banal and dashed with the macabre...
...it remains to be seen whether the country can survive the malevolent nitwits who sniffed at him and even now are laying their traps for the Wonderboy...
...9 Apparently none of those Hollywood portrayals of the Israeli raid on Entebbe will be seen in Uganda...
Vol. 10 • February 1977 • No. 5
